WHAT C-STANDS'LL DO TO YA KNEE CAPS

Wowwy whoahwy whoa!

This past month (Feb-beginning of Mar) has been absolutely nuts. I told myself I'd take it easy after graduation, ha. 

Within this short amount of time, however, I have further learned of more reasons to say "no" to projects others have proposed to me and reasons why saying "yes" will benefit me in the long run if not right away. I've been shooting constantly whether it be a senior portrait session or a fashion lookbook and have spent countless nights editing, staying up until almost early afternoon then napping until 1 or 2pm–only to go back to editing until daylight the next morning. Some people only think I'm simply pressing a button, and voila! The deed is "done."

...But the aches in my back, the tenseness in my neck and shoulders, the cramps in my hand from editing, and the bruises on my knees from moving heavy equipment around don't measure up to the gratitude I receive from others for the work I've done for them. It may sound as if I'm complaining but the complaints are only temporary. The aftermath is what sticks around forever, and the bruises will soon heal. No biggie!

I do want to stress, though, that it feels so good to feel appreciated. Although I've been working with young individuals trying to make it in their industry of interest, like myself, most of them have found ways to thank me–quite frankly, that's all I ask. Just show your appreciation for the hard work I've done for you, and that my friend, is priceless. 

Times are trying, and I believe strongly in creating/building/maintaing friendships in this business, especially being so young. This is only the beginning. We've got to believe in each other. If I believe in you and your business, I'll do whatever it takes to make a dream of yours happen, even if it's just a single photograph. That photograph can go a long way. 

Photographs are forever and signify an era, a time period. They are proof/evidence. They can contain beauty. Emotions. A memory. A work of art [within a work of art]. Photographs are important. 

  

QUESTIONS

Entering my early twenties, I've never thought so much about life and the future until now. Not only that, I've never put as much thought into love, relationships, friendships, knowledge, child development, etc. Life in general. Of course, it only makes sense for me to begin thinking more in depth about these things since it is now that I really begin to plan my life out. I want to add that I always have contemplated these "things" in my head to an extent, always confident that I knew more or less what was right or moral, but never quite so often and so intensely.

Basically folks, I'm about to turn this blog post into a public diary entry.

(I included photography/artwork via tumblr page www.1924.us)

Alyssa Jiosa; http://www.flickr.com/photos/alyssajiosa/with/7986824312/

I was inspired to write this post ever since one of my professor's (I just graduated in December '13) passed out a stapled packet of questions a few months ago. Most of the students glanced at it, but threw it away on their way out the door–you know, since it wasn't for a grade or anything. I personally picked out only fifteen questions to ask and answer for myself on this blog post. Also for you, the reader, to isolate yourself for one moment and ask, then answer for yourself.  

Ben Giesbrecht; http://www.flickr.com/photos/benngie/

The questions are pulled from a book called Ever Wonder: Ask Questions and Live into the Answers by Kobi Yamada. There is a quote included in the book:

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, some day far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

 –Rainer Maria Rilke

EVER WONDER = WONDER FOREVER

"The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Questions have tremendous power. If you want better answers for your life, ask better questions. Become aware of your own self-talk. Where do you put your attention? Questions are the source of life-enriching change. Your focus creates your reality. Whatever you are experiencing in life is not based on life itself but what you are focusing on. What you focus on increases. 

"If you want to change your reality, change your focus. If you want to change your focus, change the questions you ask yourself. Questions control your focus, therefore questions control your own experience of life. Thinking is nothing but the process of asking and answering questions. Instead of asking: 'Why me?' 'Why am I so unhappy?' 'What's wrong with  me?' Try asking: 'How can I make this work?' 'How can I make a difference?' 'What am I grateful for?'

"Whatever you ask for, you will get an answer. If you want a great life, ask great questions. Questions should empower you. You should ask a question with genuine expectancy and intention. Good questions are catalysts. They are challenges, inspirations, road maps, hints of something better, calls to action and new beginnings. . . " ". . .Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy and seldom do we exceed our expectations. So get to know yourself, have fun, stretch your boundaries, be inquisitive and live your life on purpose. What are you waiting for?"

–Kobi Yamada

The questions I've chosen to answer:

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE? 

The moment I lay on my death bed, I want to remember my life as a series of accomplishments. I want to know that I have inspired millions of people in positive ways, and have made it apparent to those who I love that I loved them. I want my loved ones to have been 100% confident that I would have traveled to the moon and back for them, only for the sake of love and not for the expectation of something in return. I want to have lived an honest life. I want to remember that I constantly lived life with something new to look forward to. 

Photographer unknown. 

WHAT DO YOU PACK TO PURSUE A DREAM AND WHAT DO YOU LEAVE BEHIND?

Pack: Persistence, perseverance, humbleness, acceptance of change. 

Leave: Pride, fear, hesitance, demanding or unhealthy relationships. 

Do not dwell on the past. It is much easier said than done, but what good does it do you if you only think about something that cannot be changed? You must live your life forward, not backward. 

WHY BE AFRAID OF SOMETHING YOU WANT?

Oh, sure. There are valid reasons for why someone should be afraid of what they want. Maybe it's too far to reach. But if it doesn't scare you, then what's the point?

IF YOU DON'T THINK HIGHLY OF YOURSELF, WHO WILL? 

This is not to be confused with narcissism. The only way someone can reach a goal in life is by knowing they can. It's a mind-set. 

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE ON YOUR JOURNEY?

My journey is but a timeline embedded in my mind, and I've got the rest of that line ahead of me. Despite a lot of hard work I've already done, I'm at the very start of it. 

Sylvain-Emmanuel .P; http://www.flickr.com/photos/sylvain-emmanuel_p/

WHAT WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT IF YOU WERE NOT TAUGHT WHAT TO THINK ABOUT?

This brings me to the thought of religion. Hypothetically speaking, if you were born in a completely different country and were raised to believe a different certain thing, do you think everyone else who does not believe what you believe will be doomed in the after life? Have an open mind. Put yourself in other people's positions. If you must preach, do so without over stepping those boundaries, because you have those boundaries you wouldn't want stepped on as well. 

IF YOU GIVE ALL OF YOUR LOVE AWAY, WHAT DO YOU HAVE LEFT? 

The love that others give you in return. 

HAVE YOU DISCOVERED YOUR MISSION IN LIFE? 

Not quite sure yet, only time will tell. So far, one of my main "missions" in life is to inform young women (of mainly in America) (well, and all ages for that matter) that there is no true definition of "beauty." The dictionary says 1. A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight and/or a combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense. Therefore, it is strictly based on opinion, right? Not one person has the exact same opinions as another. For example, models on the runway. They do not set the standard for beauty. It's the whole package; a combination of things. We've all known that one person who became more attractive the more we got to know them, yeah? Be a good person, and you'll be beautiful on the inside AND [yup!] out. 

IN ORDER TO FIND YOURSELF, ARE YOU WILLING TO LOSE YOURSELF? 

I know that the goals I have in life will not come easily. Nothing worth fighting for comes easily and that I will have to pay my dues. I know I may have to step into audition/interview type of situations and completely humiliate myself. I know that at some point, I may have to stick to eating ramen noodles in my tiny apartment, struggling just to make it by and putting all of my hard work and effort into something with nothing but a print to slide into my portfolio as a result. However, I do know that these are investments. 

(Via http://neoretro.tumblr.com/post/74632687702)

DO YOU LET YESTERDAY USE UP TOO MUCH OF TODAY?

Holding on to old baggage, and letting things inhibit you from following your dreams, whatever they may be; career, love, etc. This keeps you from thinking progressively. Instead of worrying about what has happened in the past, think about 1.) what you can do to fix it and move on or 2.) if there is nothing you can do about something that already happened, accept that it can't be changed and move on. 

Photographer: Jessica Tremp. http://www.jessicatremp.com/tapad-og-fundid

WHAT IF YOU LOST EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW... AND THEN SOMEHOW GOT THEM BACK? 

You would be absolutely grateful, yeah? This particular question reminds me of the movie, I Am Legend (Will Smith). During that moment of loss, would you be wishing you had spent more quality time with close ones? Wishing you had been nicer to strangers?

HOW DO YOU FIND HAPPINESS? 

Love and human connection. Sure, most of us strive to be successful in order to survive and provide a means of living for ourselves, but without the love and human connection... I don't think we would feel the need to live anymore. To me, happiness is a zest for life, in a way, but what good is life if you're the only one? 

WHAT IF YOU LOOKED FOR THE GOOD IN EVERYONE AND IN EVERY SITUATION? 

I believe that having compassion for others is important and can lead to a better and less stressful life. No need to hold grudges, for we all make mistakes and there's nothing more refreshing than having that second chance; to be forgiven. We were all raised in different situations and environments ranging from blissful to tragic. Maybe the person who hurt you was raised in a selfish, abusive home. Show them the opposite and how that's not the way of the world. If they continue to hurt you, maybe your paths aren't meant to stay together, however... they'll continue to learn the hard way every time. My other point to this question is the saying, "There's two sides to every story," and sometimes it's ignorant to stick with just one for biased reasons. 

ISN'T EVERY END A NEW BEGINNING? 

This leads me to explain how break-ups are a perfect example to answer this question with from my point of view. Instead of going through life, blaming your current relationship problems on past relationship problems, maybe stop and think that it is something deeper and within. It is possible that the heart can mend, and find new love, but that won't happen if you don't allow it to. See every end to a relationship as a learning experience and if it is not meant to be, your next relationship is a brand new chapter where new memories can be made and new lessons can be learned; a new beginning. 

Photographer: David Catá. Mi piel es tu piel. 60 x 90 cm. 2012.

WHAT IF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WAS THE BEST OF YOUR LIFE? 

I can just sense that my life still has yet to begin and the best is yet to come, regardless of the amazing memories I've already made. 

Some questions I've decided to leave unanswered but still wanted to include:

IF YOU THINK LIFE IS HARD, WHAT ARE YOU COMPARING IT TO?

ARE YOU THE TYPE OF PERSON WITH WHOM YOU WOULD LIKE TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

IS IT TRUE YOU HAVE TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT, OR RATHER, DO YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT BEFORE YOU CAN SEE IT?

DO YOU DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS?

WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DREAM WITH YOUR EYES OPEN?

IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

CAN YOU REALLY LIVE WITHOUT LOVING LIFE, AND CAN YOU LOVE LIFE WITHOUT LIVING LIFE? 

WHEN WILL YOU EVER HAVE MORE TIME THAN YOU DO RIGHT NOW?

WHAT ARE THE FIVE THINGS YOU VALUE MOST IN LIFE?

IF WHAT'S IN YOUR DREAMS WASN'T ALREADY INSIDE OF YOU, HOW COULD YOU EVEN DREAM IT?

WHAT GOOD HAS WORRYING EVER DONE?

HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU WERE?

WHO ARE "THEY" THAT HOLD SO MUCH POWER OVER OUR LIVES?

IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, HOW COULD YOU BE HAPPIER WITH MORE?

IS IT REALLY ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY?

DO YOU LOVE EVERYBODY YOU LOVE?

HOW DO YOU NURTURE YOUR SOUL?

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

WILL YOU EVER REALLY KNOW HOW BRAVE YOU TRULY ARE?

WHAT MAKES SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL?

Yamada, Kobi. Ever Wonder: Ask Questions and Live into the Answers. Seattle: Compendium, incorporated, 2008. Print.

If you would like to purchase the book, visit: http://www.live-inspired.com/Ever-Wonder-P721

THANK YOU

Nine Muses--Your "Thank You" package was the sweetest, most professional/thoughtful thing ever! I even had to make a blog post about it (which is rare). What a lovely surprise mailed packages are, ESPECIALLY when it's absolutely stunning dresses (long and short) with handwritten notes from the heart. Oh! And thank you for the picture frame of a memory we shared that will once become a story told by students saying, "This is when Nine Muses and Nicollette Mollet first worked together before they were ever famous!" 

I cannot wait to wear these pieces and feel like a sexy princess. That's right, SEXY. 

Ladies and Gents: 

www.ninemusescollection.com

Video Premiere: Fox & The Bird

So, this post is only somewhat actually related to me, but first off, I just wanted to post that my good friend, Paul Grass, is in an amazing band and was recently featured on American Songwriter (Written and posted yesterday by Evan Schlansky) and just wanted to share it.

The reason it's related to me, is that I get to photograph sweet Paul and his fiancé, Charleigh (who has done hairstyling for one of my shoots in the past), next month and the cute ideas are just getting me too excited.

Please enjoy and share! :)

http://www.americansongwriter.com/2013/12/video-premiere-fox-bird-wreck-fallible/

And here's the video I created for Charleigh and Paul as a wedding gift :)

Self Portrait (For my graduation invitations [The Art Institute of Dallas-12/16/13]). 

Photographer: Nicollette Mollet

For a while, I've been wanting to do a self portrait where my hands are dirty. It took me a bunch of tries; poses, makeup, hair and outfit changes to finally get something close to what I wanted. And my goodness, self portraits are the hardest task to accomplish when you're dealing with a 50mm f/1.2 on a Canon 5D Mark II. It's difficult to get photos in focus even when I'm behind the camera, let alone being in front of it. This isn't even quite what I imagined, but it works!

The dirt on my hands symbolizes my hard work and ambition. I'm willing to work my ass off to reach my goals in life, whether they be photography related or not. Even when flipping through photographs I've been so proud of in the past, I tend to be a bit critical and hard on myself. However, I also understand that it just means I'm growing. I will continue to learn and be inspired by new things throughout my life, as long as I am willing to get my hands dirty.

Oh! P.S. I decided to leave in that lip pimple you see there in respect to this post I made on Facebook:

Hey everybody, sentimental time--Ya ready?: 

I just had a short conversation with a sweet girl about confidence and insecurities. She posted a cute photo of herself that included a caption describing how she's finally beginning to feel comfortable in her own skin. She also went on about how she's been going through a weight loss journey, but how the difficult journey has been filled with tears and heartache (hating herself and almost slipping into depression).

I just want to say that I think she looked absolutely stunning in that photo, and I'm not just saying that in hope that she'll come across this post and feel better about herself. She really did look stunning! We are our worst critics. Even the prettiest, skinniest woman in the world has deep insecurities. We all do, and if it's not our love handles or big bunions (two of my own, lol), it's something else on our bodies we don't like.

I've photographed skinny models who were absolutely beautiful and the minute they point out a flaw, I think, "WHAT?!" Because I don't see it. I see flawlessness. We see things in the mirror that no one else sees. The fact that I photograph pretty, tall, skinny girls all the time can sometimes throw me right back into that insecurity "bubble," but I quickly pick myself up since I know a lot about the behind-the-scenes. Models are photoshopped, and altered at times. Not all the time. Models can actually be as good looking in real life as they are in the photo but are used because they have the ability to portray emotions through the camera, and believe me, it's not easy for just anybody with a pretty face. Modeling is acting. Modeling is making movements look believable, being able to know their angles under different lighting situations and knowing if their hand looks amputated in that 2D image. I know that designers work on sample sizes, so it is easier to have models be the same size. However, don't forget about the plus-size models, they're out there and working, too. Also, the importance of whether a person can model or not is becoming secondary to the importance of their personality, which is great. I mean, I personally don't feel like highlighting someones physical beauty if they're ugly on the inside, let's be real *raising an eyebrow, crossing arms.* See, the media may have some influence, but I also think it's just in our nature to want to be attractive. I often wonder, "Would I still care to be attractive if all the men in the world vanished?" Then I think, "Nah not really, I'd wear sweats, eat all the pasta I want and let it all hang out (specifically the love handles and bunions)." (Ooh... minus the girls-nights-out... it is kinda fun to dress up for those. You get what I'm sayin,' doe).

Speaking of girls' nights, I have some of the most beautiful friends in the world. Every girl has witnessed their best friend look in the mirror and grunt in disgust. Even though I really do think my friends are just gorgeous beyond belief, let's say you "see" what they're talking about anyway... You never really noticed it until then. You know your best friend so well and love her for who she is that you completely overlook those things. This mostly goes for someone and their significant other, for example, if they love you, they will find you attractive no matter what. I have read countless articles of women telling other women (this goes for men too, okay?!) to love themselves because we are all "beautiful." While this is true, allow ME to finally EXPLAIN why from my own point of view. We all have our own tastes and preferences, and there is definitely someone out there who can find your insecurities to be beautiful because they are a part of you. There are other things about ourselves that are attractive, and we are completely unaware of them because we don't see them in the mirror. Maybe it's your voice, your mannerisms, your morals/outlook on life, your good sense of humor, your scent, laugh, hands, style, and the list could go on. Only those of you who have experienced true love know exactly what I'm talking about, whether it be romantic or not.

Most importantly, confidence makes you more attractive. It's so refreshing to meet someone whose confidence (ahem, and modesty folks. No one likes a cocky show-off) overrides their flaws, making the flaws completely invisible. Those are the people I find myself striving to be like–-not the skinny, pretty loud girl at a party (again, confidence isn't loud). I know that some of you who are close to me may be reading this thinking, "take your own advice!" Ha, I definitely have my off-days, too, just like everybody else. I also have my good days. Even today, I got so down on myself because I've been trying to take self portraits for my graduation invitations (if you haven't noticed recent ones I've posted lol, those are "maybe's") and got frustrated. The camera really can add pounds, you guys! Lol. I then cooled off, and was over it. I guess that's a contributing reason I felt the need to create this post tonight.

So, back to the sweet girl who posted the selfie. She sure looked super cute in that post and rocked that little polka dot dress, but after reading her caption, she looked dayum sexy!

Thank you for taking the time to read ALL of that, but I sure hope it lifts some spirits. I know that I will be revisiting this post again in the future when I'm feelin' down!

Salmon's Good For You

Aight everybody, CHECK. IT. OUT.

I’ve decided to finally upload my first real lookbook.nu photo taken today by my lovely best friend, Natalie, after brunch.

(…"after brunch." Listen to me, I sound like a bored housewife.)
Kidding, but I’d like to keep it up!
(…we’ll see how long it takes for me to upload the next one.)

In Search Of History: Salem Witch Trials

"In 1992, mass hysteria and rampant paranoia swept the new england country side. Citizens in the small village of Salem, Massachusetts, were being accused of casting spells in witchcraft and guzzling the milk from the Devil teats. This persecution was a relatively new phenomenon in America. It has been estimated that approximately a calculation of an appalling 4 to 5 people were executed."

Now... I know what you are all thinking. Especially if you've already watched this video. Ridiculous, right?
If you couldn't already tell, this is absolutely nothing but silliness and wasted time.

Here is another video (from the same YouTube channel as the Salem Witch trials video above, that belongs to Dillon Hemmle, by the way) where I pretend to be a vlogger about to go on my first blind date. Unfortunately, it didn't go so well. 

Enjoy. :)

-Nico